The Only Marriage Advice I Ever Give

I’m pretty tired so I’m going to keep tonight’s post for my 7 posts in 7 days short, sweet, and coherent (hopefully).

This post could be summarized with one word:

Forgive.

When Andy and I got married, we received lots of thoughtful cards full of well wishes and advice. One friend encouraged us to keep a spirit of forgiveness in our marriage. Of all the wonderful things people wrote to us, this is the one thing that has stuck with me.

Forgive.

Now I can only speak from my experience but every conflict that we’ve had could be improved or resolved by having a spirit of forgiveness.When you have a spirit of generous forgiveness it keeps arguments and disagreements in perspective. It creates an atmosphere that is more conducive to discussion, understanding, and reconciliation.

Forgive.

I’m not very good at it which is probably why it is the piece of advice that I have carried with me. Be generous with your forgiveness: it is something I need to remember every day (and not just in my marriage relationship). Often it is easy for me to let my flesh get the best of me and to feel entitled to my selfishness. If Andy does something that hurts my feelings or contradicts what I want, it is easy to fall into the trap of thinking that only my feelings and wants are important. Instead I should remember that my husband is someone who loves me deeply, and even if he did hurt me intentionally he still deserves my forgiveness – not only as my spouse but as my brother in Christ.

Forgive.

Ultimately, we are called to forgive not only our spouses but anyone who wrongs us because of Christ. He gave all that he had, taking the wrath of God upon himself, so that we would be able to experience and share forgiveness. Oh how petty the things I want to withhold forgiveness for are in comparison. Thanks be to God for his forgiveness in Christ.

Colossians 3:12-13
Put on then, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive.